Attention
by PolarisRain
Summary: FINISHED Ryou Bakura love his yami with all of his heart, but when occasional actions play an exceptionally bigger role than words, will Ryou gets the attention he really needs? Based on a True Story. YBxR
1. Lonely Little Soul

Attention  
  
Rated: R  
  
Pairing: Yami no Bakura Bakura x Ryou Bakura, Yami no Malik (Marik) x Yami no Bakura  
  
Genre: Romance, Angst / Drama  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon(s), tear jerker, violence, language, self mutilation.  
  
Summary: Little Ryou Bakura love his yami with all of his heart, but when occasional actions play an exceptionally bigger role than words, will Ryou gets the attention he really needs?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't not own Yu-gi-oh, the band Trapt, the song "Enigma", or anything else in this fic. Serious! The plot's not even mine! It's based on a true story!  
  
Author's Note: Anyways, I have my own little introduction before the chapter, and I wish you wouldn't skip it, cuz I thought about it for a long time, and I feel it's important. It sets the whole atmosphere for the story. However, if you want to skip it, I can't stop you...

There are several types of attention. There's positive, negative, desperate, obsessive, etc. However, not many people seem to understand that. Many people assume that attention is attention, and if doing a certain thing gets people talking about them, then they'll do it. No matter what it takes. It takes more than gentle touches and a soothing word or two for eyes to see.  
  
This, is a lesson that Ryou Bakura learns the hard way. Based on a true story, this is not just Ryou's story, but it's also a story that's happened to someone I know, and many others all over the world...

Chapter One: Lonely Little Soul  
  
(Ryou's Point of Veiw)  
  
Everyday it's become a routine in this house. We wake up in the same bed, sit up, shake away anything that's causing our bodies to slow, get up, and hobble into the shower. Or, in his case, stagger towards the kitchen.  
  
Normally, I'm a guy of schedule, but the amount of overlapping in this house is insane. We even do the same thing at breakfast. He eats any leftovers from last night's dinner. I sip some tea and nibble on an English muffin with peanut butter. After he chugs a mug of coffee, he steps out onto the front porch for a cigerette, and I go back to my room to get dressed.  
  
I don't see him for the rest of the day. Yes, we are quite a couple, aren't we?  
  
Where does he go? Like hell I should know. Most likely the Ishtar's. What amazes me, is how anyone can spend all day everyday with an Ishtar. Even Isis can crawl under your skin if she's in the mood.  
  
Now, don't get the idea that I'm completely together. I dedicate my life to that jerk off. He's out all day doing who the hell knows what, and here I am, making sure he had clean clothes. I used to mutilate myself over him! When we first started being together, he would shove me to the side, literally. I don't care. I will do whatever he says, because if I don't, he'll leave me, and I can't stand being alone anymore. It's just too much.  
  
Anyways, this morning was just like any other. God I wish for a change. I watch him out of the corner of my tawny eyes. He's began digging into the fridge, a plate of leftover stir-fry in his hand. Oh darn. I was planning on eating that at lunch. All well. I should have known better. He loves when I cook for him.  
  
I get up from the table a little early. I didn't feel like eating this morning. Finally, a little change.  
  
I suppose Yami isn't very into change, because he gave me a death glare from his spot on the counter. God those eyes. I stopped myself from heading up the stairs, and gave him my usual look of innocence.  
  
"Yes?" I asked in the most gentle of tones. I glued my eyes to the tiled floor.  
  
He grunted, "Where are you going? I haven't even gone out for my smoke yet." his eyes were bleeding with fire. He must have been really angry for me to leave only five minutes earlier than usual. What was the big deal?  
  
"I'm not very hungry this morning, Yami." I answered without hesitation.  
  
A look between disappointment and annoyance shows up on his features. What's that look for? Sighing, I sat back at the table, noticing a deep red stain on the surface. I didn't even bother asking Yami where it came from. The guy is always getting himself into things.  
  
Satisfied, he tossed the dishes into the sink, not caring if they chip or break. He's reckless like that. Sometimes I love it. Other times... I really don't know what to think.  
  
He grabbed his box of cigerettes off the top of the fridge. He ruffled my hair, and headed for the front door. No. Don't leave me here. I don't want to spend the day alone again. I stood up quickly, calling after him, "Yami?"  
  
He stopped and twisted around, a cigerette was already between his lips, "Hm?"  
  
He actually stopped. "I umm..." my eyes traveled down his toned chest, to the unbuttoned waistline of his leather pants.  
  
Without fail, Bakura noticed. He removed the cigerette, letting a smug smirk spread across his lips, "What's the matter, Omote? Did you want something else for breakfast?" he advaced towards me. Oh God. Here we go.  
  
"No! That's not what I meant!" I felt my face flush over three shades of red.  
  
If I didn't stop him, something else had. He spun around, feeling a presence behind him. Who is it? I looked over his shoulder. Marik. For once, I was happy to see him.  
  
"You're early." Bakura gave me a look, leaning over to nip at my ear. Damn him for knowing my weakest spot.  
  
I peered over at Marik. I hate that little grin of his. What a jerk. I wanted to smack that look right off his face.  
  
I watched Bakura run up the stairs, only to come back down at an eye's blink with a brown cotton shirt flying behind him. He hadn't buttoned it. God, he was going to look so indecent.  
  
"Yami..." I grabbed his shirt tail.  
  
"What? I got to go." he looked down in my eyes, his scowl evaporating. It's amazing how sorry he can be when I flash him those puppy dog eyes.  
  
I spun him around, and buttoned his shirt all the way up, "For me?" I requested, zipping and fastening his pants while I was at it.  
  
He did one of those annoyed sighs, staring up at the ceiling. He waited for me to finish, when he undoes the first two buttons, exposing his chest, "For me?" he mocked me.  
  
I shrugged, "Sure. Whatever." I didn't smile when he left, Marik trailing closely behind him. What sort of hell were they going summon to Japan today? I watched the news to find out, but nothing came up about two insane young adults causing havoc amoung innocent civilians. Lucky me.

/Do we know how to get the message across  
  
We turn the lights off to find a way out/  
  
Spending all day on my own, I had cleaned the house up, and started some laundry. Eventually, I curled up with my book, and read until late in the afternoon. Yes, I can get a bit absorbed into these sort of things. At about seven, I started dinner. I thought that if I made Bakura's favorite, he would stick around tonight.  
  
Traditionally, he would crawl into bed with me, and he would be gone before I even got to sleep. He would mumble about needing a cigerette, and I would hear the front door close only once. Yet, somehow, he'd always make it back before I woke up the next morning, completely passed out, I might add.  
  
God, I wish he was home right now. No one understands how insanely lonely I can feel. I could be standing on the Tokyo trainway during rush hour, and feel like I'm the only one there. Honda said it was something like 'social anxiety disorder' or something. I don't think it is. I just miss Yami.  
  
I hear the screen door slam shut. Is he home so soon? Yay! Someone up there heard my prayers!  
  
"Something smells good." Yami walks up behind me, and gives me a little kiss on the cheek. Well, that's sweet. Now I remember why I became this man's lover.  
  
"Yami, you're home early." I look over my shoulder from the stove, and blink. Oh my stars. "Yami!"  
  
The shirt that we calmy battled about this morning was nowhere to be found. His hair was more ruffled than ever. To top it all off, his bottom lip was split open. Was he gangbanged or something!?!  
  
I turn off the stove, and drop the spoon I was using to stir, "What happened?" I lean over him, cupping his cheek. He looks terrible!  
  
"Ryou..." he whispers. That way he says my name... I'm starting to feel shivers.  
  
Wait. He never calls me Ryou. Not unless we're having sex... or if he wants something. Damn. He's trying to trick me! That bastard!  
  
"What do you want?" I frown. So much for being sweet. It's always too good to be true with him.  
  
He leans up and kisses me, nibbling on my bottom lip. Oh. I see.  
  
"Yami... I can't." I stand up straight, watching him slump in his chair. Oh don't do that! He has an even deadlier puppy pout than I do!  
  
"Why not?" his eyes blazed again.  
  
Biting my lip, I stare at the floor again, "What happened to you?" I mumble, "Where's your shirt? Why is your lip busted open? Where did you go? Where DO you go?" all of a sudden I find myself ranting all of the questions that just pop into my head. What am I doing!?! Yami HATES answering questions.  
  
The next thing I knew, I was in our bed, staring into his chocolate orbs called eyes. He leaned down to nibble at my lip again. Slowly, he pushed himself back up, "Ryou... shut up." it was rude, but so inviting. I always find myself surrendering to this man.  
  
In the darkness, I felt his lips on mine, running his tongue along the roof of my mouth, causing me to giggle. His hands began to slide down my sides, feeling out my lithe body. Yami says I should eat more.  
  
Slowly, he advances to my neck and goes up to my ear, pulling on the lobe ever so teasingly. What a flirt! I feel my breath speeding up. It's too soon in the game for me to be so flustered. What's so different?  
  
"Bakura..." I moan almost silently. He loves it when I call him by his name during our little "rounds".  
  
I know he's grinning. He always does when we're in the process. Right now, he could be smiling, and I wouldn't be able to tell, because it's so dark. He's tricky like that.  
  
"Yami... I..." I close my eyes as he continues to take me. I'm his ragdoll at the moment. I let him do what he wants with me, because I know it gets me what I want: attention. Don't expect me to talk or think right now. It's just simply not done.  
  
/No time to get through to grasp what was lost  
  
don't turn the lights off and leave me in the dark/  
  
RING RING.  
  
Damnit!  
  
Yami didn't sound very joyous either. He growled, picking up the phone on the floor beside the bed, "What?" he barked. Oh Dear. What if it was my father?  
  
"Don't give me that shit, Marik Ishtar!" he scolded, "You think it's funny that I'm screaming at you? Well fuck you!" he kisses my forehead roughly, and climbs out of the bed, slamming the door behind him. It didn't matter if he left the room or not, I can still hear him clear as day.  
  
"I can't put up with your shit, anymore, Marik. I'm done. WE'RE done. No. This has NOTHING to do with the runt, and you know it!" he paused. I guess Marik was adding his own two cents, "It's not because you punched me! Don't you get it!?!" Marik punched him? Oh he is SO dead!  
  
"This is just a never ending cycle with you! There is NO way you can change my fuckin' mind." Apparently he can, because Yami did one of those sighs. That, 'fine. I'll listen to your crap' sigh.  
  
"Okay. I'll come over, but the second you pull anything out of your ass, I'm out of there... for GOOD." he must have banged his head against the wall, because I heard several thuds on the other side of the wall.  
  
/Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding.  
  
I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you./  
  
What just happened? What did he mean by 'we're done'? He isn't... cheating on me, is he? No. Impossible... right?  
  
He flicked on the lightswitch, and saw me staring down at the bed, my arms pulling my knees to my chest. He sighed, "Ryou... I-"  
  
"I don't care." I croak, tearing burning my eyes, "Go see your lover."  
  
I didn't need to see Bakura's face to know he was a more than a bit surprised. He dropped the phone onto the floor again, "It's not like that!"  
  
"Then, what is it, Bakura!?!" I find myself screaming, "Don't try telling me bullshit, because I shove it right back at you!" I bury my face into my knees. I'm going to cry over this for sure.  
  
"Omote..." he sat down on the bed, "listen to me!"  
  
"No!" I yell into my knees, pushing him aside, "Go! I don't care! Just leave me alone like you always do!"  
  
So, that's what he did. He pulled on some clothes, and hurried his ass out of the house. Now that I think about it, I can't believe myself. I spend all my time and energy so he'd have a reason to stay home, and here I was, making him leave. GOD HOW STUPID AM I!?! I'm so disgusted with myself. I can't stand it!  
  
Stumbling into the bathroom, my eyes are clouded over with tears. I wipe my eyes messily, catching a glimspe of myself in the mirror. Look at you. Sobbing all over yourself. It's your fault you know! He's not going to be back! You know it! YOU SCREWED YOURSELF OVER ONE TOO MANY TIMES!  
  
It's like this ever damn day. Everyday I do it all over again. I keep my own, while you do your thing. It never changes. Every night, we lay in the same bed, but it feels like I'm the only one there. Every night you just leave me in the dark, only to come back, thinking I didn't see you. Well I take notice.  
  
/What are you thinking, it's so misleading  
  
Is it not for me to know, I think it's just hard for you to show./  
  
I know you don't want me! I'm just a slave! I'm a cheap screw when your lover isn't conviently waiting for you! I can't take it. I'm so sorry, Bakura. I can't! The razor looks so inviting. It just looks so perfect, so tempting. I promised myself never to do it again. Then again, no one keeps promises anymore. Not even you, Bakura!  
  
It's all my fault. Everything is because of me. I was the one who asked for change...

Author's Note: Chapter one is all done! Scary, huh? I thought so. FYI, I didn't use the whole song, because if I did, it would be a darn long chapter. So, umm reveiws are welcome. Constructive critism is also appreciated. However, flamers will be ignored, so don't waste everyone's time and FF.net's space.


	2. Spotlight On Me

Author's Note: Well, here I am with my (I guess) long awaited update. Thanks a lot for your reveiws! This makes me and my friend VERY happy! hehe.  
  
Anyways, here are some comments to those lovely reveiwers:  
  
thn: Yes, people do need to learn how to be more independant! I admire you! lol.  
  
Maruken: Hehe. You'll be pleased with future chappies, yes you will!  
  
chibisuppi: Sorry about the spaces, but I kinda like them. It helps me organize the paragraphs. Just bare with me, please?  
  
Chibi B-channie: Here's your chapter! lol.  
  
Bakagami101: Yup, more chapters to come.   
  
sansty-san: Geez, you're really full of energy, lol.  
  
worthless: You're not very worthless to me. lol.  
  
Voice of Reason2: Yea, expressing feelings are really hard, and thanks. I hope this does effect lots of people!  
  
ryouandbakura: hehe. You obvious love this, huh?  
  
Chapter 2 Spotlight on Me  
  
(Ryou's POV)  
  
I woke up the next morning on the bathroom floor. Damn. I wished I had died. Amane stood above me. At least, I thought it was Amane. Wishful thinking I guess. She's been dead for years, but then again, I thought I was dead at the time.  
  
It was just Yami. The razor identical to the one I clutched to last night was in his hand. I look down at my naked body and noticed I hadn't harmed myself. Or... had I? I remember blood, but where is it?  
  
"What are you doing?" he quirked an eyebrow.  
  
I sit up, my mind completely fuzzy, "I don't remember." I wince at a sharp prick in my lower back. Ow! What was that? I look down and see my thighs stained in blood. Oh. There it is. Yami's so rough sometimes.  
  
Yami sighed, "You're impossible, you know that?" he threw the razor into the sink.  
  
By then, my eyes had unclouded, and the first thing I see is the black eye my yami had received. Immediantly, I'm on my feet, ignoring the pain in my lower region. "Yami! Did he hit you again!?!" I cup his cheek and exam the bruise. God, how terrible!  
  
"Yea, but I landed a few on him, so I could care less." he spoke gruffly, "Now, what the hell were you planning on doing with that?" he pointed to the abandoned razor.  
  
I try not to look him in the eye, "I... umm... missed a spot yesterday and it was bothering me?" it sounded more like a question than the truth. I couldn't tell Bakura I was weak enough to try and hurt myself.  
  
He made a clunk noise with his tongue on the roof of his mouth, "I see..." he walked out of the bathroom, "I'm staying home today."  
  
No one can't even imagine how estatic I was when the words left his mouth. Oh this was going to be great! A whole day with Bakura! Marik would be nowhere in sight! Oh joy! Oh glorious!  
  
"What the fuck are you doing!?!" Oops. During my little happy moment, I happened to cling to his arm. What an idiot I can be...  
  
I had let go, feeling like a little boy in front of him. What could I say to him now? God, I hate these awful silences.  
  
He cleared his throat, "Umm Ryou?"  
  
"Huh?" I peeked through my bangs. He was biting his lip? I didn't know he did that too.  
  
"I uh... I shouldn't have left you last night. I was just-"  
  
I shaked my head, placing a finger on his lips, "It's alright." I wasn't about to stand there and let my yami get all mushy on me. Honestly, I like him the way he is, and if he's about to spill his guts everywhere, I would spill out dinner from yesterday.  
  
We both shared a shower, acting a little more uncomfortable than usual. A little secret that only I probably know: Bakura is very shy when it come to human contact.  
  
I'm dead serious. He seems like a smooth guy, a god in bed, but only I know that he's as clumsy as I am. Isn't that cute? He even blushes if I kiss his cheek!  
  
He helped me dry off, and even picked out my clothes for today. It was a simple black t-shirt and a pair of Yami's tight jeans. Someone must be tired of seeing me in sweaters. I slid the shirt on, and sucked my gut in to button up the jeans. Ack! How does Bakura do this!?!  
  
After I win my fight against the evil button of doom, I roll up the ends. They were a bit big for me, length-wise. I go downstairs to see Bakura on the counter with a carton of Chinese take out in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other. A noodle was dangling from his mouth. I giggled, opening the fridge for some jam from my English muffin.  
  
He quirked an eyebrow, slurping up the rest of the noodle, "You look good in those jeans."  
  
I smiled, closing the fridge with a jar of strawberry jam in my hand, "I can't breathe in these jeans." I laughed, opening the bread box for my muffin.  
  
He jumped off the counter, chuckling as well. He smacked my rear as I was bent over, causing me to yelp and stand up rigidly. I glared at him the best I could, and stuck out my tongue, "You jerk!"  
  
"What? I'm a hormonious teenager for the rest of my second life! Sue me!" he laughed, throwing the take out away.  
  
I rolled my eyes, waiting for my breakfast to toast. A sad smile spread across my lips, and I couldn't speak any louder than a whisper, "Bakura?"  
  
He looked at me, a cigarette making his voice somewhat muffled, "Yea?"  
  
"Thank you for being with me today." I said, spreading the jam on my muffin, "It was thoughtful of you." I looked over my shoulder to see him just standing there.  
  
His cigarette was already burning, causing smoke to linger around him. The light from the early morning sun made him glow at the same time. It was then I noticed he wore the same thing as me, only his shirt was a dress shirt. Like always it was unbuttoned, showing off the gorgeous body he was blessed with.  
  
There was silence afterwards. He nodded, escaping to the back porch this time, to have his morning cigarette. I sat at the table, nibbling on my English muffin and jam, letting my mind shut off for a while.  
  
I think the rest of the day, we did much of nothing. To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. It was a day of pulchritude, and in the late afternoon, we cuddled in the hammock together, letting the wind blow us back and forth gently.  
  
By the time I woke up, the sun had already set, and yami was playing with the ends of my hair. I turned slightly, smiling at him lazily, "Hi."  
  
"Hey." he said back, just as softly. He kissed my cheek, and poked my nose, "We need to get up. Only crazy people stay out in their hammocks after nightfall."  
  
"Well, didn't you know?" I smirked, "I'm a maniac."  
  
"Yea, in bed." he replied, tickling my side, trying to get me to giggle. Which worked, mind you, because I happen to be ticklish EVERYWHERE.  
  
I fought back, getting him behind the knee. That was his keystone. The hammock was violently shaking back and forth from our assaults on each other. I wouldn't be able to figure out a winner though, because both of us spilled out onto the lawn, and out limbs ended up getting tangled together.  
  
Of course, bed is where we went next, and since we were both well rested, our passion went on two hours longer than anyone else could go. Afterwards, when both of us were panting for air, planting final kisses on each other's bodies, he got up, tugging on his pants.  
  
I propped myself up by my elbows, looking at him strangely, "Where are you going?"  
  
He replaced his shirt, fixing his hair so it was on the outside, "You didn't expect me to stay here the whole time, did you?" he took out a cigarette, "It's Friday."  
  
I frowned at that, seeing his silhouette in the dark. The blinds made horizontal stripes across his form, and light from a nearby street lamp made him stand out. How typical. He looks so beautiful in shadows.  
  
"I'll see you later." he announced, and left, closing the door softly behind him.  
  
I sniffled, feeling a round of tears coming. No. I will not cry. At least, he's not going to Marik's, right? He's not sleeping with someone else anymore. Just me. He loves only me.  
  
So, why am I feeling so doubtful?  
  
(Authoress POV)  
  
"AH!" he cried out, arching his back ever so slightly, "Gods, Marik!"  
  
The blonde Egyptian grinned maliciously, "I'm so glad you came back to me." he bit does harshly on the other's nipple.  
  
"Ahh!" he clamped tightly to Marik's golden locks, "More, Marik! Please! Fuck me!" he pleaded, his body burning with pleasure and pain.  
  
"Mmm very well." the other positioned himself, and as he penetrated the other's smaller form, he smirked, 'You're mine, Bakura, and soon that little brat of yours will be too.'  
  
(Ryou's POV)  
  
I heard a soft whimpering, and for a minute there, I thought someone else was in the house. I blinked, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness around me.  
  
I sat up in my bed. Where did that come from? Maybe I'm imagining it.  
  
There it was again! What? Something glowing in my desk.  
  
Curious as usual, I open the drawer from my desk. Hey! The Millenium ring!  
  
I don't even remember how long it's been, but an agreement that was made by Bakura and I during one of our ocassional arguements was that the Millenium ring stay in the desk from then on. I somewhat regret it now, since now the both of us can't talk through mindlink anymore, but it was what he wanted, and I could NEVER disagree with Yami.  
  
I heard the whimper again, and just for old times sake, I put the ring around my neck. A million and one familiar feelings came back to me, and the crying became even louder.  
  
My soulroom was dusty and empty, just like it always had been. I left it to see the rest of my mind, and I noticed Yami's room was open. Why? Even when I wore the ring all the time, it was never opened!  
  
That crying gets louder and louder with every step I take to Yami's room. Who is that?  
  
I step into the doorway, and immediantly freeze. Impossible...  
  
(Authoress POV)  
  
At that same moment, minutes before a lustful climax, Yami no Bakura clentched his eyes shut. However, it did not prevent the tear that traveled down his cheek...  
  
THAT'S IT! My follow up chapter! I hope you guys like it, and don't worry, there will be plenty left where this came from! lol. Oh yea, and the whole soulroom thing with the tear, that didn't really happen. lol.  
  
Oh YES! To go with Marik's comment earlier. This is what really happened to my friend. It turns out the guy that she loved (Bakura in the fic), was cheating with a bisexual (Marik). So... this brings an interesting little twist on MY fanfiction. lol.  
  
Reveiws welcome! 


	3. Belongings

Author's Note: Umm nothing to really say here, except thanks a bunch for the reveiws! I'm glad everyone enjoys the fic, and it means a lot to me!   
  
Chapter 3 Belongings  
  
(Ryou's POV)  
  
I don't think I talked to Yami for a good three days. He knew I was angry with him, and I was. However, I couldn't be furious, because of what I had seen in his soulroom. My yami... just bawling like a baby.  
  
It's been four days now, and I'm not sure whether or not if I can still face him. I promised myself that if he did that again, I wouldn't let him stay here. I'm finding it hard to keep my word.  
  
"Ryou?" Hm. Now who could that be?  
  
I looked up from my book in the livingroom, and fixed cold eyes on him, "What?"  
  
He took a step back, a bit shocked from my bitterness, I assume. Clearing his throat, he walked into my bedroom, a somber look on his face, "I wanted to umm talk to you. You know... about us?"  
  
"I didn't think there was an "us"."  
  
A slim, eyebrow rose, "What made you think that way?" he questioned.  
  
I close my book with a heavy thud, and sit up in my bed, "Well, with the way you behave, I figured there wasn't any "us" in your eyes. So, why should I think any different?"  
  
"Ryou!" he blinked, sitting on the bed, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You know what I'm talking about! Don't think I don't know about Friday night! You and Marik! Bakura, I thought it was clear that I didn't want you seeing him anymore!"  
  
Well, didn't he look surprised? I got up from the bed, attempting to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist, "Omote..." he said softly, pulling me back down.  
  
I scowled, staring at him hard, "I don't feel like talking to you."  
  
"Then don't." he replied back, cupping my face, and kissing me gently.  
  
I tried not surrender to his false affection, but what could I do? My hands gripped his wrists, half heartedly trying to pull his fingers off my cheeks. He did that thing with his tongue, and I moaned, letting him taste my mouth.  
  
About twenty minutes later, I was fuming in my bed. I was naked, of course. The bastard had tricked me. I laid there, my body was at one end of the bed, and his was at the other, creating a satisfying gap between us. Thank God for large beds.  
  
I turn on my side, and see him sleeping peacefully. How can he be? How does that fucker live with himself like this? How can he just... go on with pretending that what he's doing is okay?  
  
"Is something bothering you?" he asked, opening his eyes fully. I take it he was awake, watching me.  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"Damnit Ryou." Bakura propped himself up with his elbows, "You're really pissing me off with this. What's is your problem?"  
  
"MY PROBLEM!?!" I screamed louder than I did in bed just a few moments ago. Trust me, I'm damn loud when I'm having sex (but don't tell anyone. shh).  
  
He sneered, glaring at me with his malicious eyes, and I just went and stared right back, probably looking red in the face.  
  
I was rigidly sitting in the bed now, not showing him fear. I kept my eyes on him, and said softly, "If you think that I will sit here, and let you continue whatever it is you call with Marik, you are terribly mistaken." I stood from the bed, grabbing my own jeans from a drawer and sliding them on.  
  
"Ryou..."  
  
"Shut up." I said, and walked out, calling back at him, "If you plan on seeing Marik tonight, bring your belongings with you, because you won't see them in this house when you get back." a small smile crept onto my lips, and I closed the door. Why should I bother looking back at Bakura's face? I already know he's too shocked to even piss his pants.  
  
I ended up taking a walk in the park. I just threw on a shirt that was on the livingroom floor, and went. The sun felt good on my back, and I even thought I actually might tan. Who knows? I've never been outside long enough to figure out if I tan or burn.  
  
After the park, which I couldn't remember very well, because my head was too full, I went uptown to my favorite, but expensive, bookstore. The owner was a friend of my father's, and waved at me when I stepped through the door. I faked a smile, and walked deep into the dank store.  
  
I shuffled through the shelves, not searching for anything in particular, but I did see someone. It was none other than Marik.  
  
"Ryou? Hey!" he strolled over, and all I could do was hold my breath. My eyes shifted around. No one was in the store, but me, him, and the owner behind the counter watching afternoon soap operas. Oh no...  
  
The Egyptian grinned, "Well, what's goin' on, Little one? Just browsing?" he was a little too close to me for comfort.  
  
I had nothing to say to him, "Yes, but I've got to go now. Sorry I can't talk any longer." I mumbled, and started to walk away.  
  
"He wouldn't mind including you!" Marik called after him, "I wouldn't either."  
  
I spun around. What the hell was he saying, "Excuse me?"  
  
He smirked. Arg! I hate that smirk. He walked closer to me, saying a little bit softer, "I said, we wouldn't mind letting you join us." he leaned over and nipped at my ear. "You know... if you need a little... help once in a while." he let his fingers stroke my cheek. Those eyes of his were positively shining at me!  
  
I thought I was going to be sick. Sneering, I pushed him into a shelf of books. Without a second thought, I bolted.  
  
Never in my life, did I think I could run that fast, and when I got to my front door, out of breath, I unlocked it, and pushed my way in, slamming it behind me, and bolting every lock on the door. Panting, I turned around and gasped.  
  
My house... was empty.  
  
I looked down at the bare wooden floor where my welcome mat used to be, and on a piece of paper were the words, "You should have brought your belongings with you, because you won't see them here when you get back. Me."  
  
(Authoress POV)  
  
Yami no Bakura waited for Marik outside the Ishtar apartment. He smirked at his fellow yami, and pointed down at a truck beside the complex, "Merry Christmas." he chuckled darkly.  
  
At that time, little Malik Ishtar came outside, "Hey guys! Someone's moving! I saw the truck..." he saw the look on Bakura's face, "What's so funny?"  
  
"That's my truck."  
  
"Oh. So, you moved here? Where's Ryou!?" Malik worried about his friend.  
  
"Still at home."  
  
Malik was confused, "So, you're not moving? What's the truck for?"  
  
Bakura walked down the stairs and over to the truck, the Ishtars closely behind. He opened the back hatch, and showed the truck was filled with furniture and boxes and everything you could think of. Even the kitchen sink right in front.  
  
"I was told to pack up my belongings."  
  
Author's Note: O.O Eep! Oh My God! How mean is that!?! AHHHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! clears throat Well... that was my reaction to it when I heard, but I want to hear yours, so reveiw please! 


	4. Brick Wall

Chapter 4 Brick Wall  
  
(Ryou's POV)  
  
It's all gone. Everything disappeared. Tears stung my eyes as I looked around. He even took the liberty of ripping out the carpets.  
  
In a flash, I ran up the stairs, nothing clear in sight. The photos on the walls of my family were no more, and as I peered into the upstairs rooms, I noticed the wallpaper was even stripped off the walls. How could he do this!?! None of this was his! Nothing!  
  
My room was just as empty as the rest of the house. I was pleased to know that my clothes laid at the bottom of my closet. What would he want with sweaters anyways? This happy bit of news was not enough, I'm afraid, to make me feel any better.  
  
In my pile of sweaters, I cried. I sobbed myself silly until it was well past nightfall, and just when I thought nothing would ever go right again, the phone in the corner of my room was ringing.  
  
Choking back my tears, I picked it up, sniffling slightly. If it was Bakura, I was going to cuss him out.  
  
"Hello?" I said no louder than a whisper.  
  
"Ryou! Oh my Ra, Ryou! Your house! I just heard!" Bless my tainted soul, it was Malik.  
  
"Oh Malik! It's awful! Is he there? Tell that fucker I want my things back! He had NO right to take anything more than his clothes! Malik!" I curled up on the floor, ready to cry again, "He even stripped the wallpaper, and took my photos of Amane and Mother."  
  
I heard a gasp on the other line, "NO! No he didn't!" Malik was more surprised than I thought he would be. He excused himself, and put down the phone. His voice ringing through the Ishtar's household.  
  
"YAMI NO BAKURA! YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU TAKE RYOU'S FAMILY MEMORIES! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!"  
  
I couldn't believe how supportive frail little Malik Ishtar was acting. I let myself smile a bit before he returned, huffing and puffing.  
  
"Sorry about that. He didn't re- WELL YOU CAN GO TO FUCKIN' HEAVEN CUZ HELL JUST SOUNDS TOO GOOD FOR YOU!"  
  
Through the phone, I heard my yami yelling back at Malik, and it was nothing very positive.  
  
Eventually, Malik took the phone outside, and sat inside the moving truck with all my things, "Ra, Ryou. I'm so sorry, but I have an idea. I'll just sneak your things back over there. I promise everything will work out, okay? Who needs keys when my yami is as good a theif as yours?"  
  
I gave a short and bittersweet laugh, "Thank you, Malik. I really appreciate this." and with that, I hung up the phone. Since there wasn't even a bar of soap in the house, I decided to go grocery shopping. Washing my face with cool water, I slipped my shoes back on, and headed out. I mean, what harm would shopping do?  
  
God, was I so wrong.  
  
"No! Stop it!" I found myself running from the store, completely forgetting where it was I wanted to run to.  
  
He was chasing me. I knew that cold smirk was on his face. God, no one would help me! Why is this happening!?! There were so many things running through my mind.  
  
Like every cliche, I ended up at a dead end. I found myself all the way on the east side of town, staring at a brick wall. Tear went down my face as I had whirled around, gasping for air. To my surprise, he was right in front of me.  
  
"M-Marik... please don't come near me..." I found myself begging.  
  
He chuckled darkly, "Dear Ryou..." he cupped my face with his hand, and licked his lips, "You have something I want."  
  
My knees were beginning to give away. I was so tired, and so afraid. I whimpered softly, not even bothering to get away anymore, "Why?" I soon asked, "Why? You've taken everything else. It's just not fair..." I cried, punching Marik in the shoulder, "IT'S NOT FAIR!"  
  
With another laugh, he rubbed his shoulder slightly, "Why?" he repeated, "Well, I really don't know why." he used his tongue to lick away from tears. I knew by his eyes that he enjoyed to see my pain, "I think, it's because I just want a little... payback. You, of all people, have taken quite an interest in my darling Bakura, and now, I just want to tell you that it's not going to happen. I don't think he appreciates you being our third wheel."  
  
"What are you talking about?" I found myself gaining courage. It was now or never, "I'm not anyone's third wheel. If anything, you were the one who came and caused hell in OUR life together. YOU have no place in his heart."  
  
"Ryou... I believe that by the end of tonight, you will be thinking another way." and just like that, he advanced onto me...  
  
The brightest of all the lights in the world were on me, as I opened my eyes. With a groan, I rolled over, feeling every part of my body was dead weight. I came face to face with that damned brick wall. I didn't want to sit up. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to do anything, but lay there and die.  
  
I would hear a car or two drive by. There were no birds chirping. I couldn't hear anyone walking by or laughter like I would near my home. The sun was out, but it still looked like it was going to rain. The alley I was in was damp and musty. I would see a spider climbing the brick wall every so often. I don't even know how long I laid there, the ground uncomfortable on my broken body. I think the only thing I knew, was that it was over. Everything I knew, was nothing.  
  
After sometime, I found myself opening my eyes again. I had a sense of deja vu when that hideous wall came into veiw. I guess I had fallen asleep again. It was about time for me to get up, and find my clothes. Being naked in this enviorment was started to creep me out.  
  
My body was cold, and all I started to cry again. What was I going to do? Was I going to run back to that empty house, to go take a million showers and still feel like I was the filthiest person on this planet? Was I then going to take the sharpest thing I could find, possibly glass from a broken window, and slice away everything I was to become? I guess that was what I planned on, because there was nothing else left for me to do.  
  
The water was warm and heated up my numb body, but it didn't matter. As I scrubbed the dirt and grime away, did that matter? I was going to end it tonight. It didn't really make sense to clean up just when I'm going to dirty myself again.  
  
One thought did come to mind though: Malik. Was he really going to bring back my things? I suppose that doesn't matter either. If I got them back, it wouldn't make me feel any better. I still wouldn't have anything to share it with.  
  
Anyways, I dried off, and got into some fresh clothes, still feeling like a muck monster. It was time to seal the deal. I grabbed the telephone, it being the only thing heavy enough to do the job, and smashed the glass that made up my window. I was pleased to find a large shard of the glass by my feet. As I lifted the glass to my wrist, I realized there was still something else I had to do.  
  
I searched the whole house, rummaging around for anything I can find to write with. Bakura did a rather amazing job when it came to emptying my house, but he did forget a black marker that had rolled under the kitchen cabinets.  
  
I picked up the marker, running into the largest place in the house: my living room. There, I uncapped my writing utensil and began my story...  
  
My POV  
  
It took only one day for anyone to find Ryou Bakura. His body was frozen, and stained with dried blood. He laid in the middle of the living room, surrounded by four white walls. The said walls were now littered with little, but messy handwriting, confessing everything Ryou had become. It had taken Ryou seven hours, twenty three minutes, and fifty two seconds for him to write down every last word.  
  
It was Yami no Bakura who had opened the front door, an apology speech echoing in his head for him to recite to his beloved. When he had spotted his love, dead beyond anything, he had collasped in the doorway, shocked by what he saw. He then crawled over to Ryou, holding him close for a mere minute or two, before reading the words on the wall, walking in circles until the very last sentence was read. It was then he noticed the floor was written on as well, only this time, it was a note, addressed to Bakura himself.  
  
"Darling Bakura,  
  
I will assume you have read the walls before reading the floor. Just so you know, I am not sorry. If anything, I am thrilled to be dead. There is nothing to be done now. I am unresponsible for anything. You're death will soon follow mine, and that only brings me more pleasure.  
  
I have loved you, with all of my heart. You were everything I aspiried to be. Yet, you threw me away. You treated me as nothing. I only fed you, gave you a place to stay, helped you, comforted you, made love to you over and over again. I guess I should have tried harder to please you. I suppose I had no special place in your heart.  
  
It honestly doesn't matter now. Nothing matters. For all I have learned is that you would never return. Even after you stole everything from me, and your lover had raped me in the slums of town. Nothing would be different. The only thing that would be lost, was me.  
  
What was I going to do after all this happened? Huh? Help me out, because even now I don't know what I had going for myself. I lost every will to learn and grow. I had no one to grow WITH! I had nothing TO learn! My whole life's lesson was done in less than a week! After all of this, I have made one giant conclusion: I was all wrong.  
  
The teachers said I had a bright future, but look at me now! Go on! Look! I'm a lump of cold flesh on the floor! I am a bled over, pile of death waiting for some strangers to throw me six feet under! I am DEAD.  
  
It was no one's fault but mine, but no one, especually you, has to worry. I have taken care of the problem. I have ridden of the garbage! I did a good thing! I should be rewarded with a prize!  
  
However, there is still truth I have to admit. Remember when people always said I could do better than you? I still don't know if they were right. Why did I stay with you? I know! It was because you kissed me, touched me and watched me throw my head back as I was taken over the edge. It was all the attention I received from you. It was everything I was given by you. You made me feel like I was on top of the world! That is, until the lights were turned back on, and you were already out the door.  
  
Even after you had left, and the carpets were rolled up and piled into a truck, I still had hope. I still loved you. Now, as my soul is who knows where, I still know that I love you. Too bad I'm always wrong. My life has come to a halting crash against a brick wall.  
  
Good-bye,  
  
Ryou"  
  
Bakura got up from the far corner of the livingroom, reading the last few sentences through blurred eyes. It was all so true, but Ryou was still so ignorant. He didn't know. He didn't realize the real truth, and that was Bakura's fault. He had never told him. He never said the very thing he had always been afraid of saying, "I loved you too, Ryou." he choked out, amazed by this overwhelming grief he felt in his heart. Soon, the only thing left of him were tear drops that would soon by evaporated into the air.  
  
He probably had another millenia until he would be seen again.  
  
Gods how depressing, but yes, it is over. Reveiws are very well appreciated and I hope you enjoyed my fic. Until next time! 


End file.
